Recently, I have been noticing a trend.
I am being dumped by friends.
However, I see it as I am growing into a new person & shedding the old me, which unfortunately means, shedding old friends. Not for a lack of love, but we are just growing at different speeds. I am finding myself connecting with old friends whom out grew me years ago but it seems I am catching up.
Without further adieu, here are reasons why I am a shit friend
I blossom best when I have me time. I love it! Not only am I comfortable in my solitude, I need it. Yes, I need to be alone. A lot. I am a Gemini,(surprise!) so that means that I require as much personal time to care for myself & recharge, as I put into others. So no, I don’t want you to just come over when you feel like it, & no, I don’t want to come and hang out every few days. It’s not because I don’t love you, it is because if I do not get enough me time, I am miserable to be around.
It’s sad that we live in a world where expectations are seen as a bad thing. But yet, I am guilty of it. I expect to be treated with the same love & respect I treat you with. I expect you to have enough respect for me as a friend to not throw things back in my face, or belittle me in any way, or disrespect my beliefs & values. I expect common courtesy & raw honesty.
& by difficult I mean I will call you out on your bullshit. Why do I do this? Because I want you to be your best self. You already have friends that tell you what you want to hear. Not me. I will tell you the truth, & sometimes I will force feed it down your throat. Where you a asshole to your ex & now your trying to blame him for leaving? You bet your ass I will tell you how YOU ruined it. Are you constantly complaining about the same thing but not doing anything about it? I will give you 2 options. A) Do something about it, I will even do it with you or B) Shut up about it & let it go. I am difficult because I refuse to allow you live in lies & bullshit. I will drop truth bombs everywhere, I promise you that.
Just because I am ok with not speaking to you for weeks on end, does not mean that I do not love you. It always catches me off guard when a friend ‘dumps’ me because I have not called or spoken with them. I can understand how it may seem like i do not care, but that is not the case. I am a grown adult who is building my life, and so are you. I do not feel the need to be in touch constantly. I believe that if you need me, you will call. Or vice versa.
This I probably am guilty of, I cannot deny it. I will probably forget it is your birthday, or remember last minute. I most likely will always forget a ‘friendiversary’ or when your dogs birthday is, or the anniversary of your grandmas funeral. I am not one to put importance on dates. However I will remember to ask about your mom & her chemo therapy, or to help with a yard sale, or anything that will require me to be present.
You bet your ass I am! I will support you in a 110 different ways, no matter what it is. You want to sell everything you own & live in a RV? I’ll pack my bag & join you. You want to quit your job to chase your dreams? Hell yes I will help in what ever way I can! I will be your safety net if you need it. You wanna date that guy that everyone else is telling you to stay away from? Ya know what, you only live once, date him. Worst case scenario you end up staying at mine for a week while we binge watch horrible shows, drink far to much wine, & eat our weight in ice cream.
Everyone can raise their glass to this. I will admit, sometimes I can appear insensitive. When you fall & hurt yourself I will laugh. Hard. I do things to embarrass the crap out of you, & I do not regret it. I make extremely inappropriate comments at the worst of times. Sometimes out of nervousness, sometimes because I think I am hilarious. I will make jokes about your shitty situation, in an attempt to cheer you up. I will point out the silver linings in things, & sometimes you just won’t be able to see them. But in no way will I ever intentionally hurt you.
I may not be the perfect friend, but I am an honest, loyal friend who knows her self worth, & yours.
I can be your rock when you need support, or be your rock when you need a shock to your system.
No matter what though, I will always be there. Even if you did dump me.
– Your favourite Gemini