Grief is not a newcomer in my world.
Neither is pain.
I have grown quite accustom to having them here, sometimes I even seek them out.
But this is something different.
I feel I should be hurting with the intensity of a hurricane.
I have felt as though the correct way to grieve is to be in pain & to cry until my eyes burn & I fall asleep from exhaustion.
However this time, with the wound so deep & fresh, I feel almost enlightened.
I am sad about what life has brought me, but I feel oh so grateful.
I feel as though I am seeing things through new eyes.
I am learning that it is ok to accept what has happened, feel it & be with it, but not to JUST react to it.
Grieving does not have to mean sitting alone in your room with a 6 pack & package of cigarettes.
Grieving does not have to mean screaming until your lungs give out & your left with a tear stained face.
Grieving does not have to be the ever elusive question of “Why did this happen to Me!?”
I am learning that grieving is the process in which helps you to transition from this moment to the next, & it does not have to be destructive.
I am learning that just because my heart is hurting, does not mean I have to stay in pain.
This time, when grief & pain have come for a visit, they brought with them gratitude.
Gratitude for the life I have.
Gratitude for lesson in self healing.
Gratitude for the storm, no matter how long or hard it may be.
I will grieve for as long as it takes & eventually the pain will lessen, but I will not allow myself to destroy myself this time.
– Your favorite Gemini